Friday, June 21, 2013, 7:05 AM
It's 6:54am, I can't fall asleep, too many things are on my mind.
I feel super aimless these days.
My life now is not in a mess, but in an empty state, just like a blank paper.
Everyday I'll just eat, surf the net, watch the TV, sleep, just like a cycle.
This life is too meaningless as I used to be a workaholic yet for now, I do not want to do anything about it.
Everything started to go wrong since 17may.
I actually drafted two long posts to explain what had happened, but I do not wish to post it in public lol.
I screwed up my exams, had some stupid psychological problems(?), cancelled my 1.5 months Korea trip which I longed for.
Everything just fall out of place and I do not know how to pick up the pieces.
I wanted to go on a short holiday but couldn't find anyone to go with me.
My flight is on this coming Sunday and I guess I'll have to forfeit the air tickets.
Actually I do not mind travelling alone as it will be a healing trip for me but I do not dare to stay in a hotel room myself lol... and Dad kinda disapproves.
Close friends are all OLs/OMs and I couldn't find anyone out with me except for dinner time..
Seriously I feel damn damn damn lonely and I chose to coop myself up at home.
I do not want to find a job yet because I want to wait for my results to be out, I do not have much confidence in graduating to be honest.
Perhaps I should go on a healing day next week myself.
I start to feel upset cancelling the Korea trip but I believe that everything happen for a reason and in fact, I do not have a choice.
I'm upset everytime I see something related to Korea and I can't imagine seeing those updates on SNS when my friends depart for Korea :(
What I need now, is a very much deserving holiday, get my results in August, start working no matter if I graduate or not..... at least that's my plan for now.
I guess I need to be even more independent
